When my hosts use the term stranger to refer to me it means I am an honoured guest. Patrick Tikaha and his family have made me feel extremely welcome here, so when they say I am a stranger, I know that it is with great pride.
Image1: Patrick Tikaha (53 years old )
Patrick is a local JSS (equivalent to elementary) schoolteacher. He has a sturdy bicycle which he uses to travel more than 30 minutes to the small village school where he teaches young children to read and write. When I asked Patrick about his life story, he said that he had to start at the beginning, which was the origination story of his people. I will save that one for another post (sorry for the suspense), but when we did get to his personal story, I learned just what a determined and hardworking man his is. It helped me admire him all the more.
Image2: Sticks used for pounding, for example, removing the sheathes from grain, and an old storage room.
As a young man he left a job in the southern town of Kumasi to care for his elderly parents in the village. They insisted that he marry his first wife, Talata, when he was around 22 years old, so that there would be someone to take care of this house, which was a necessity, since they were no longer able to manage it alone. Patrick agreed. His parents made the arrangements, chose his bride, Mme Talata, and his father paid the dowry.
A few years later, Patrick completed a certificate course to become a school teacher, and with his salary, paid for his older brother to marry. Then, finally he was able to marry again. Mme Lardi, (whom I was not able to get a photo of this morning) is his second wife. I get the impression that the second marriage was for love, although Patrick himself would never compare his wives in that way and it is something of an imposition for me to say so. His first wife does not live in the house any longer, although they raised six children together. Mme Lardi has six children of her own, bringing the family up to twelve children in total.
Image3: Terimba (Mme Lardi’s daugher), a neighbour, and Ahna (Mme Talata’s daughter), posing for me as they do the laundry. I am getting better at hand washing, but I’m not nearly as quick as these girls.
Two of the grown children live in the house, along with their children, and some of his grandchildren stay here as well. Patrick works full time, but he is also attending University through distance education. Last month he was writing distance examinations and staying up all night studying while attending to community obligations, which take up around four evenings every week, and taking an additional course arranged by the Ministry of Education during the day.
“We want you to tell your parents, when they worry about you, that you are with a family that will do everything we can to make sure you are comfortable. Before you go to sleep hungry I myself will sleep without food. We live in a simple house, and we know that you have left all of the comforts of your place and sacrificed to come here.
You will never pay anything to stay here, and you can stay as long as you like. Until the day when you come and tell me and my senior brothers that you will be leaving, and we celebrate your departure home, I will never ask you for anything. If you have any problem in this house just tell me. And if you are shy, you just tell my wife.
Feel Free. You are Welcome here.”
Image4: Ahna, posing with laundry soap. Apparently this picture is HILARIOUS, but no one could explain why so that I got the joke.
The downside of never being uncomfortable is….
“I don’t want you to do anything!” They insist. Taking care of guests well is a point of pride in the Tallensi community, and although I help with cooking or small tasks around the house, it is honestly very difficult to manoevre carrying water. I spend most of my energy trying to convince the family that I don’t like meat, which is usually only added to my dish if purchased, and that I actually DO like spicy food. I manage to do my own wash and generally fill my own bucket of bathwater in the mornings and evening.
Image 5: Mme Charity cooks all of the meals in the house, she is the wife of Patrick’s third son with Talata and is about to give birth to her second child.
But, I still fight to sweep my own room, or fetch my own stool to sit on these days. When I was staying in a neighbouring house (with a Dagbani family from the Northern Region) I swept the yard every morning and even carried water from the borehole. My struggles to contribute to the Tikaha house and participate in daily activites are a testament to the cultural variability in the Northern Regions of Ghana. It is slowly getting better and I’m sure that soon I will be allowed to do dishes.
sorry mom – i know reading that doing dishes has become something i aspire to must be strange for you.
Image 6: View of courtyard towards kitchen. Mme Charity in the doorway.
I know that Patrick is proud of his home. His family eats well, his children all attend school and there is electricity in this house. The reason Patrick has been so successful is that he manages his money very carefully. He pays his bills as soon as he receives his salary and provides the women of the house with more than enough money for soup ingredients.
To obtain electricity was expensive , but he saved and sacrificed to have poles erected from the closest line. All of the children from the family compound come and sit in the courtyard in the evening to watch Ghana News at 8:00pm and hang around to see whatever program is on afterwards.
Image 7: Linus (Patrick’s grandson through Talata), Sammy, and Lautia (Lardi’s youngest daughter)
Image 8: …Running to see the picture
The compound house is quite large and is located just steps away from Patrick’s compound. There are the extended families of four brothers, including Patrick, living here with their families. When I arrived all of the senior men and their elder sons met to welcome me to the family home. It was quite intimidating to be in the room greeting 12 men formally and being introduced to them in the local language, which I had only started learning. However, I now know many of them better, I am more comfortable and we always visit and greet each other.
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Image 9: My bed – super lux!
The room that the family has opened for me is the nicest room I have stayed in here, it was not in use and it was cleaned and prepared for me with great care. I have not done the place credit with clothes strewn about and all that. The beautiful bed was one that had been previously bought and not used. Patrick assembled it with me.
Image 10: Everything I own (sorry for the shaky pic – and for not cleaning…)
Image 11: My sweet ride WITH gears! 42$CAN
I am very happy here.
7 Comments
September 11, 2007 at 7:19 am
Your recent posting revived some good memories in me. Not in Ghana though.
I am working with one developmental NGO in Bangladesh and during all my visits to the rural areas I used to feel very unconfortable when my guides would introduce me as “Bideshi” (foreigner).At first I considered it to be very undiplomatic..thought “visitor” or something closer to that was better. But I later discovered that it is done out of respect and they are proud lot to have a “Bideshi” amongst them and not merely a visitor.
Very funny when I read you were referred to as a stranger……out of respect too…..Enjoy it. As for me, I am now a happy Bideshi.
September 13, 2007 at 3:23 am
Great story, Sarah.
I’m glad to hear about this world that is so far from here.
September 15, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Sarah,
Nice thoughts. I liked your previous post as well – it’s always the farmer’s decision. I’m taking a course in development right now and it’s great to have a link to someone like yourself who is working in the field.
I’ve just heard about the heavy rains in Ghana, I hope their effect has not been too severe.
September 17, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I will write about the flooding soon ! The omission has been severe on my part. The heavy rains have damaged most homes in the Upper East Region where I am working in some way. The farmlands near waterways have been flooded and many homes in those areas have been lost.
We are worried about small scale dams breaking and for hunger in rural communities which have suffered the drought early in the season and then too much rain late in the season.
More to come.
November 28, 2007 at 8:43 am
I thank God for the lives of the people in northen part of Ghana for it is not easy leaving there. Sarah all what i can say is lets keep in contact and see what God can do ,have a blessed day bye
September 24, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Sarah, i thank you for your comments that lets me know that i will love being in Ghana. There is a man there that i love so much and i would like to visit but it seem so compicated to get all that i need to get there. When i get there i will love it. i am trying to go in Feb. 2009. He is in Accra Ghana. We also have a church there and Nigeria. (Mt. Sinai World Outreach Ministry) Thanks and be blessed
October 6, 2008 at 1:05 am
Hi, I am very interested in traditional African Dance in Ghana and am planning to visit the country from October to December 2009.
I want to participate in as many dance festivals or ceremonies as possible, visit dance institutions or communities, and live with local families. Do you know any other ceremonies that will be held during my visiting Ghana? Are there any dance communities that may offer visitors dance classes or any information regarding traditional dance? I also want to experience homestay while I am in the village. Do you know any families who may allow me to stay with?
Thank you.